Happy two years, Nate!
I wrote one of these posts last year, and I plan to continue writing one on each wedding anniversary as long as I’m blogging!
I can imagine looking back at these after I’ve been married for 10, or 18, or 25 years, and kind of grinning at what my two-years-of-marriage self had to say. 😉 No matter how many books about marriage I read, or how many couples I talk to who have been married for decades, the only things I truly know about marriage are what I’ve personally experienced. This post is full of my raw, candid thoughts about what marriage feels like at two years.
I’ve Been Married For Two Years…Here’s What It Feels Like
Romance is easier, not harder, than it was at 1 year. I’ve always had this fear that after years and years of being with the same person, we would end up being two roommates/friends who paid the bills together, rather than two people who are in love. (I suppose I’ve just seen that “roommate” type of marriage enough times in our society, so I’ve always feared it would happen to me…)
Not true, ha! I think that our romantic life is way stronger (not weaker) than it was a year ago. I’m so much more in love with this man now than I’ve ever been. We know one another so much better, so showing love in meaningful ways is getting easier. For instance…
At two years of marriage, we’re both learning how to voice what we need out of this marriage. Asking for what you need is hard, whether in marriage or in other personal relationships!
We used to shy away from saying anything, just assuming the other partner would guess or assume what we needed. Love knows what the other person needs without asking, right? Mmmm…..not necessarily. Both of us are better at asking for specific ways of being loved.
For instance: my love language is words. Nothing makes me feel more loved or encouraged than spoken or written words. And while that’s not necessarily Nate’s primary way of showing love (he’s reeeeaally good at spending quality time with his friends and family), once I was able to voice that words are what I desperately need from him, he showed up for me in that area of life.
I remember having one awful week last November. I was just beaten down and exhausted, and life felt like it was swallowing me. I was so tired and burned out in every area of life. I came home from a symphony rehearsal at 10:00 pm to find flowers and a long, sincere, handwritten card (it said, “Like A Boss!” on the front….love it) waiting for me on the coffee table. I could tell he had put a lot of time into it, because it was a very long note, so kind and sincere and full of very specific things that he knew would be encouraging for someone with my particular personality to read.
Marriage is so much fun. Life is full of ebbs and flows; I’m not blind to the fact that tough seasons of life will come. But right now, I still feel like a newlywed and marriage feels like fun, not work. Two years is really fun, and I’m savoring each moment!
The best part about marriage is….the journey. Marriage is not a stagnant thing for us. We’ve only had two years together so far, but those two years have been entirely different!
Year one was full of big changes. Within weeks of getting married, we were buying a house together, remodeling our old house, learning how to be landlords, planning a honeymoon, buying a car, adopting a cat, and both of us were experiencing significant changes with our jobs.
Year two has felt pretty calm in comparison. It was full of some fun trips and lots of great memories, but overall it was an easy year.
Who knows what year three has in store? I’m excited to walk through it with Nate and experience the emotions of each day. And I really do mean that I want to experience all the emotions of this journey of marriage: the stress, the sadness, and the fatigue, in addition to the excitement, anticipation, and celebration.
Cheers to two years, Nate! I’m excited to celebrate with you at one of our favorite restaurants in the city!
Here are a few other blog posts I’ve written about marriage: